Twenty-four

Twenty-four…Really?  That was my test score from the Oncotype. Can you guess where that puts me?  In no man’s land. Right smack dab in the middle of the graph…to chemo or not to chemo. Doc says chemo because my cancer grade is so high. I am second guessing everything and can’t stop the tears. So, I have to chemo in order to reduce my chances of reoccurrence.  I start May 7 for a five month treatment.

Ironically, I had my last hair appointment today for a while. I hope my bald is beautiful.  That was a tough one and I cried right there in the shop. No shame in my game anymore.

The hardest thing about all of this is telling my kids. They are my world and I don’t want to let them down. It was hard to tell them I am going to be sick and lose my hair. Trying to keep from freaking them out, but I dont think I succeeded.  I just hope that I will eventually make them proud as they watch me fight through this.

Prayers please for courage and strength. I have zero right now and somehow I need to muster my previous warrior attitude in one week. Lots to do his coming week, get an Echocardiogram, get a port put in, go to a chemo class, see the radiation oncologist, work, and have a birthday party for Lily!  No worries, I am not sleeping anyway. Lol!

Sorry for the rambles, I am slightly overwhelmed, but wanted to post an update.

All my love…live each day big, for you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Rachel