Ups and Downs

Chemo # 2 is in the books!  It was pretty uneventful as far as side effects. I have been more tired this treatment with yesterday being the worst.  I imagine running a marathon and your legs just feeling so weak and heavy is similar to this exhausted feeling that I am experiencing. To all who have achieved a marathon, I salute you because I am exhausted. Haha!  It is hard just to lay around and I feel pretty useless. With all that said, I am grateful for another uneventful treatment. I will ask for prayers for an upcoming blood count on Tuesday.  My liver counts were high last Tuesday and the Dr. wanted to postpone the treatment to give my liver time to adjust, but I wasn’t too down with that. If they are high again, I may have to postpone treatment #3.

It finally happened…the great hair shed of Lumpgate 2018. I made a conscious decision to shave it because let’s face it, I have a lot of hair and the thought of it all over the place was overwhelming. As I sit here and type, I am laughing because the fuzz is even worse and is everywhere. I have to cover my head or small slivers of hair are on everything and it is sticky. What a complete pain in the ass!  This has definitely been a downer for me. It is really hard seeing yourself without hair. It is hard watching your family take glances of you as they try to come to grips with the new you. One more shitty reminder you are a cancer patient. I feel like everyone is staring, and I know they aren’t. It’s just me navigating my new normal. I have never been one to lack self-confidence, but I do find the struggle is real. Patsy and I are fighting and I hate her. She is hot, and hurts my head. So, I am trying hats and scarves. Thanks to the friends who have had to endure countless selfies and provided a positive critique to my new look. While I am not ready to share my new GI Jane look, I will share A few pics so you may recognize me on the streets. I still get spooked by my reflection at home. LOL! (Thank goodness for filters)

Looking forward to a week of recovery and feeling good again. We have a lot going on here as we just put an offer on a house in Raleigh. If all goes well with both closings, we will be moving to Raleigh on 13Jul. Really ready to be back together as a family in one city. Thank you for all the love and encouragement from your calls, texts, snaps, cards, etc. it really lifts my spirits. I know I am surrounded by so much love, but some days this journey can be pretty lonely. Positive energy and laughs is really good for the soul and spirit.

All my love…live each day big for you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Rachel