This cancer journey is one big mind game after another. During my treatment weeks, I am anxious, a touch fiesty(steroids, not at all anything to do with me…I know what you are thinking), and just blah feeling and acting. I get pretty quiet here at home and just try to convince myself I don’t feel bad. I don’t feel like Rachel. About day 7 and 8, the fog starts to lift and I get my spunk back. This treatment was no different.

This Tuesday was my Day 8,  and I was back ready to emerge from my nest. Over the weekend as I laid on the couch, I became more comfortable with my bald head, and kind of picked up the mindset to screw it and just be free. Y’all, wigs are so hot, itchy and uncomfortable especially on a sensitive scalp. I called up Emily and let her know I wanted to see the baby and I needed her help to do something today. Y’all know she was thinking she had to come clean or do something boring. LOL! Not a chance, an idea was planted by a friend a few weeks ago to do a photo op to reveal my new look. Well, challenge accepted. Disclaimer:  I was not having a meltdown and no one or vehicle was harmed in the making.

To my soul sister Britney:  I get you. Life is a circus. It can drive you mad. Each one of us are under our own microscope, and there are days you just want to scream at the top of your lungs, beat something with an umbrella, or shave your head. There are also days were you just want to laugh, be yourself, and live in the moment. Britney, I don’t know what made you shave your head or why you went after the car with the umbrella, but I am glad you did.  For a few minutes, I forgot I had cancer, I forgot all my fears, I forgot I was tired…I was ME again…funny, sarcastic and living life. We define our own circus…mine has a lot of ringleaders right now, but this day I was leading the pack on my terms. Thanks, Brit!  You know I will always love ya!


Oops, I did it again…


My hope is you roll on the floor laughing at these pics, and not see a girl fighting cancer, instead see a girl living life to the fullest on her good days.

All my love…live each day big for you never know what tomorrow will bring.


One thought on “Circus

  1. I really thought that was Brittney in all the photos until I read it! Of course, I looked at pics first. You look great! Wigs are itchy and so hot! I can’t imagine on a tender scalp. You totally rock the Brittney look and Patsy can be your backup gal.


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