Three

It has been a while since I posted or rambled, probably both. I just woke up from a solid two hour Benadryl induced coma. I have just completed my ninth Taxol treatment. Which means I have three Chemo treatments remaining. Ummm, cue the famous Toyota jump in the air. If I tried to capture it on camera my feet would be about two inches off the ground and it would be a true ‘nailed it’ moment.

Description of my physical state at the moment: sluggish. I have energy just kind of move like a sloth or feel like I do anyway. I go all day and all week long just have to stop for frequent breaks. Still having nose bleed issues, a lovely face rash that really fires up over the weekend, and now restless leg syndrome. I thought I had it several weeks ago and finally had the courage to admit it to the nurse today.  She informed me that o am definitely not alone, and a common complaint on Taxol. Joy to the world!!! LOL. Guess when that kicks in…at night when I lay in bed. It is like my legs jump or I feel the need to shake them. So fun and makes it really hard to relax to go to sleep. Calling all sleep aids!!! It is weird, some nights I have it and some I don’t. As we progress further in treatment it is getting more frequent. Hopefully, once complete, it will go away. The ice baths seem to be holding off any numbness in hands and feet. But, I do notice my hands ‘fall asleep’ at night if if I lay on my side. Other than these annoyances, I am alive and well.

Ironic this week marks THREE more chemo treatments, and I had THREE visitors this past week. Emily came and brought the baby to spend the night. I had lunch with a former co-worker and friend who was in town, and then dinner with another friend who made a trip to see me after visiting her parents in a town nearby. God knows what you need and the timing of when you need it. I have been a little down lately between the move, my husband working stupid hours at work, and insecurity about my physical appearance. He knew I needed people in front of me to converse and laugh with, to receive hugs and words of encouragement. It lifted my spirits so high and made the burdens I was carrying melt away. Oh, forgot to mention I got a message that my THREE college roommates bought plane tickets this past weekend to come see me in September. STOP IT!!!!!  God is good to me, and in this season of pause, I see it so clearly. Let me leave you with you one more…these THREE…

These THREE are my life. I would fight the universe for them if I had to. And I do have too, I will continue to soldier through this treatment battlefield for them. Slaying this cancer along the way. As each remaining week passes, I will pray daily over/for one of my children for the entire week. I will pray for their success and failure, their decisions and consequences, their heart, and most importantly their walk with God.

They say bad things come in threes, and it did for me in 2017/early 2018…Mike having to relocate due to job loss, my then 19 year old telling me she was pregnant(we all know what a blessing came out of that, but still difficult to swallow in the moment), and my diagnosis of breast cancer. But go re-read the above and look at the good things that came in the form of the number THREE. I would have never made this correlation pre cancer because I was so busy with other things. But today, I see HE carried me and blessed me in many ways in the same numerical form where I once thought the world was crashing underneath me, it was just being rebuilt for me, piece by piece by piece .

All my love, Live each day big for you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Rachel