Working up to present day…Mike and I met with the surgeon on April 4th to go over the pathology reports. I have invasive ductal carcinoma, which is the most common type of breast cancer. I am considered Stage II due to the size of the tumor over 2 cm, but under five cm. It is a grade 3 cancer, which unfortunately is a fast growing cancer. I am ER and PR positive, which is really good news. Basically it has estrogen hormone receptors that work nicely with the drug tamoxifen later down the rode. I did have the BRACA test done to see if I have the cancer gene. Those results will be in around the end of April. Prayers for that to be negative, please and thanks in advance.
With all the above said, the first step I chose was to have a lumpectomy and lymph node removal that took place this past Tuesday, April 10. I am patiently waiting the results from the pathology report that will determine my next steps. I will be honest, chemo and radiation are both on the table as of now unless these reports come back with some low scores. I am terrified of chemo, but will do what I need to do in order to have a cancer free life. Don’t get me wrong, my prognosis is good according to the doctors, but I don’t think your human if your mind doesn’t travel to that dark place at times.
Lunpgate 2018 (the surgery) was interesting. Let’s just get this out in the open, I am terrified of needles. Add knives and other tools and pretty much consider me out. I usually have someone with me to hold my hand while getting shots (you know who you are, lucky gals). I handle Botox like a champ though and proudly stroll in there like I am Hollywood’s elite. I almost passed out getting my nuclear injection for the lymph node removal. That was not fun and a great start to the morning. Then I had to come back home and wait to go to the surgical place. Arrived and signed my life away and they took me right back to prep me. I had to wait a while as the surgeon was running a little behind. I don’t think I have ever prayed as hard as I did that day. Can I pause here to say all the texts and messages sent that morning made my day and made feel like a warrior. You guys are amazing. I felt the love and felt the prayers. I never thought I would be walking into the OR to then lie down on a table and say cut me here. They did mark me all up and said they were putting my initials RB on me and I said pretty sure that is for Right Boob. After that I was out and the dr did her thing. I will say if I never have to experience that again it will be too soon. I am not a good patient. Of course, I passed out when they were trying to make me leave. LOL. I tried to warn them.
Here I sit, patiently waiting for my results. I have been able to manage the pain, and my husband and mom are taking care of me making sure I eat, drink, and rest.
When I was diagnosed I got a big welcome to the club bag that included all these pillows and blankets. The lady said these would come in handy after surgery. Mike and I were laughing about all the pillows and I was thinking how is this going to help. As I type, I have my new breast friend (photo above) tucked under my arm…the lovely heart pillow in my welcome bag. Lol! Now I get it! It hurts!!!!! This pillow is giving me life right now. I will never question anything given to me again by others who have traveled this road before. I have learned things I never thought I would have to know, but for that I am equipped to go into battle and win this war. Prayers for clear lymph nodes and a low oncotype score so maybe I can avoid chemo.
All my love…live each day big for you never know what tomorrow may bring.
Rachel
There Is No Place Like Hope 